I’ve been wallowing. It’s not pretty, but it is what it is. Another good reason to be traveling alone, sobbing eyes aren’t very attractive!

A gorgeous campus, WSU Vancouver now has a friend at the helm. It's much prettier when it isn't raining, I'm positive!

A gorgeous campus, WSU Vancouver now has a friend at the helm. It’s much prettier when it isn’t raining, I’m positive!

The gloomy weather is adding to my mood (or taking away from it, as the case may be!) so I’ve decided to move along, heading up to Seattle where I’ve got a friend I’ve not see in over 20 years, but makes me smile every time I see her post on Facebook. Figure that’s a good detour to make! I’ve decided not to continue up to Vancouver, BC but rather make this my furthest point north on this trip and start to head East. Today, the sun has been shining, but the forecast predicts more and more rain. I just don’t want to be surrounded by gray much longer.

We left Vanvouver, WA/ Portland, OR area yesterday after finally making a repair on the rv “stick”. Let’s just say it involved the “black tank” and leave it at that!

The winds were howling and the rain was more on than off. I’d planned on visiting Astoria and/ or Seaside, on Oregon’s northern peninsula, but the thought of going all the way to the coast in windy weather made me truly ill. Wind, you are still not my friend. I’m reconciling with you, but not there yet.

The sadness lingers and I’ve let it come as it must. Sobbing parked in a parking lot, with Jerome looking on so concerned, I screamed and howled. I’m working through it, I know I’ll be okay. This is life, and the one I’ve chosen is not supposed to be easy 100% of the time. How do you deal with intense loneliness when you have chosen to predominately be alone? How do you reconcile intense sadness with the joy of doing what you want every single day? Sometimes…. you just can’t. Time passes and moods change. So I’m letting time do its thing.

Once I didn’t feel like driving anymore, I decided to take my chance that I could spend the night somewhere. Fortunately, I stopped in and spoke with the manager at a Safeway and she was so gracious and said, “You just rest, we’ll keep an eye on you.” Smiling, I grabbed some fro-yo and stepped out into more rain. Once cocooned inside the rv, watching Breaking Bad (Season 1, just started, I know, behind the times!), with the rain pounding on the roof, I cried just a bit more then fell asleep.

Some very welcome sunshine greeted us as we greeted Olympia, WA

Some very welcome sunshine greeted us as we greeted Olympia, WA

The turning back of the clocks and an early bedtime meant getting up earlier than our usual early and hitting the road. I was going to head just to Olympia, but was enjoying driving so decided to head up to Bainbridge Island. This is a section of the country I’ve never been to, but one of my favorite writers lives here (I hope to connect with her, will share if I do) and describes the many islands across from Seattle in a most convincing way. And, you know, I love ferries, so the chance to take the ferry into Seattle is enticing as well.

On the drive, I dug out my old iPod and speaker system I had kept during the downsizing and decided to let it blare. Well… I blared k.d. lang… not exactly ear shattering. It’s funny when you review a music collection that stops right at a particular time in your life. The last time I really used this ipod, I was saying good-bye to another very important relationship in my life. A good-bye I still don’t quite forgive myself for, either, but I’m learning. A relationship with someone who I thought had every right to hate me, but have recently come to find out, didn’t at all. I review this as a lesson about how my intensity of feelings sometimes doesn’t mean they are based on actual events.

And I sang along at the top of my voice and cried my way through Halleluhaj and Jericho and stopped a few times to just breathe in the sights and let my head clear. I’m writing this from Poulsbo, just outside of Bainbridge Island where we’re going to park for a few days.

I’m getting there. Sun, stick around today, please.

Looking at Seattle... I know it's there somewhere!

Looking at Seattle… I know it’s there somewhere!

{I realize some of you read my blog because it is about epic travel adventures and living-working on the road, and these few posts may not sit well for you, being all mushy and personal. Don’t worry, the fun times will return around here, probably with a Places post in the next day or two. But, life being what it is, I think it’s important that I get down my experiences of all kinds. Seems a whole lot more real to me. Thanks for “listening” no matter what.}